Juice (feignedrhapsody) wrote,

Wow. And to think someone wrote this about me.

Reading the words that you've written stirs within me such a strange jumble of feeling. I see a brand of love and optimism that is completely foreign to me, yet reminds me of a young man I once knew and feels like returning to a home I've seldom had and fear I'll never find again. I read words of tolerance and understanding and fear and confusion and self-determination and love and love and there's that damned love again. I don't know how to explain it. I always want so badly to explain precisely what I mean and leave no room for error and waste no time trying to spell out anything that wouldn't lend to complete comprehension. But really, I just don't know how to explain it. I'll try until I'm short of breath and numb of finger, and keep on trying to try for a good while after that. So here's a little bit more of that effort. You remind me of me. A me that I only scarcely believe in anymore, that I only see on rare days when the planets and chemicals align just so. You remind me of the me I used to love being, and also the me I looked forward to becoming some day. You remind me of the me that I hear sometimes in my head, but never seems to show up in any mirror. You remind me of the things I most love about myself, whether I can find them at the time or not, and the things that I love most about people in general, and the things that I love about life and the world at large. I remember fighting with you, and I remember thinking that you seemed so oversensitive to things, and it never occurred to me that I have always been and will probably always be just as sensitive. "Over", "hyper", and "too" are modifiers I no longer place much stock in. Though my memory is fuzzy, I apologize for whatever differences, disagreements, and disputes we had between us. I apologize for anything mean that might have been said and any hurts that may have been caused. You are, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful people I have ever had the privilege of even slightly knowing, and I can say without a moment of hesitancy (save perhaps to phrase it properly) that you are a woman worth all of the love in this world, and that I love you.

You remind me of the love in my heart during a time when I'm so often certain that it is forever lost to me.
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